


Left behind

by RavenWholeheart



Category: General fiction - Fandom
Genre: ABDL, Diapers, Giving Up, Hurt, M/M, Multi, Non-Sexual Age Play, Threesome, anguish, bottles, comfrot, ddlb, headspace young, leads up to ageplay, paci
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-27
Updated: 2018-06-27
Packaged: 2019-05-29 10:34:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15071357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RavenWholeheart/pseuds/RavenWholeheart
Summary: Jackson always got stuck with the short end of the stick. He has to live with his ex boyfriend who fucked him forgot about it, then got three boyfriends. To having his husbands love each other more then they could ever love him. Until one day something happens that leaves Jackson shooken and scared plagued with nightmares. Forcing the boys to actually take notice in Jackson





	1. Chapter 1

Jackson knew fucking his best friend when he was depressed and was going to end it was a bad idea. But honestly he wasn't thinking of the after effects. He just wanted one night where he felt loved. One moment of passion where he thought they could make it work. Sad to say, but ending it obviously didn't work as he's now living with  Thomas the said best friend. 

And of course his two husbands Liam and Chris. Jackson knew being a mature adult of 23 he shouldn't hate them for finding love with Thomas. But on his worst days he truly did. But on the upside he did have two of his own husbands. 

Austin and Mitch they were incredible people in there own ways.  They were childhood sweethearts from the beginning. Austin was around 6'0 with ripped abs from training all the time he was a man you didn't mess with.  He wore contacts because glasses made him geeky looking he said anyway. He had black short slightly curly hair. That just made his cheekbones stand out more. 

Jackson knew in his heart that the only reason he become there husband was because they felt sorry for him. They didn't know he was going to end it. But they had there suspicions. 

Sure living in a marriage where he was the after thought was incredibly difficult. But at least he had people sometimes when they would remember him and invite him to the bed before asking him if he wanted to go to his own bedroom for the night.Oouch  that one hurt the first time hearing it. 

They had just moved in with Thomas and Jackson seeing the love shining through the three of them sank Jackson even deeper then he already was. He sought out his husbands when he did find them hurt just radiated from him. 

There they sat at the kitchen table feeding each other the left of what was there wedding cake. When he walked in  Austin had just scooped the last piece of vanilla three layered  cake into Mitches  mouth. 

They finished clearing there plates smiling madly at each other before noticing Jackson standing there in the foyer. 

"Hey Jacks we just finished  eating but don't you worry your fat little bum there's a lot of food left even for you". Liam said before hooking hands with Mitch and pulling him out the door.

 

He knew he wasn't fat and any doctor worth anything would agree with that. But your brain is a tricky organ. Even your eyes deceive you.  While others see a perfectly heathy 23 year old boy Jackson saw a huge pig with his brain enforcing that. 

He is sad to admit he did eat a handful of skittles to drown out Austin's words. But that's the thing about food it nice in the moment but afterwards it just makes the sinking feeling deeper. 

He went outside and sat in the basking heat of the sun. In moments alone which he did get quite a lot of actually. He didn't feel anything just empty but it is better then letting your emotions get the best of you. 

It felt like a ten minute nap  that he got before he heard the sliding glass door open and there stood Mitch in all his glory he was the taller of the three boys standing at 6'2 he was a deep tan color thanks to the summer sun. He had striking blond hair to match. He was a rough big man. Fit the description of a cuddly grizzly bear. 

Mitch sat down beside Jackson and put his hand over his. " So Austin and I were talking you know we love you but we feel, but it's up to you the most that it would be best for you to have your own bedroom to sleep in. It's not anything bad but it would let you be alone more and have you time."

Jackson if anyone of them cared to find out spoke a lot. But around the guys in his house who were all older and Gruffer then him made him quite. 

He had nothing to say he couldn't think his brain was coming up short. So he did the one thing that he could always count on. Nodding and smiling his soft fake smile. Austin smiled his dazzling pearly whites " Glad to hear you think this is a good idea to I think it could help you a lot." 

That conversation happened almost three weeks ago. It was harder at night being left alone with his thoughts and most specifically his brain. 

Jackson was dislodged from his thoughts when Jackson walked in with a soft smile on his face. " Hey I thought you went with Mitch and Austin to the movies. Didn't feel like going after all?"

Jackson felt tense once again knowing he was never asked and this was one of the husbands once a week dates to keep it fresh. Don't worry he was invited every time when they saw him on the way out after getting ready and then remembering he's there husband as well. 

Austin and Mitch chose that moment to come down the stairs together hand in hand. Down down the stairs until they spotted him and Jackson. 

You could see the surprise on there faces when they saw him sitting there.   
" Oh hey, Jackson we were going to go out to dinner and a nice stroll and we're wondering if you wanted to come with?" 

Jackson was just going to pity them and let it fizzle once again.   
When Thomas that asshole spoke up before him.   
"Of course he'd love to go right? 

He just looked down before mumbling " I'm not dressed."

Thomas  looked down at him before laughing "You look fine, great even. Right Austin?"

Austin looked over him quickly not even glancing at his outfit before nodding along. 

He knew in fact that be didn't in fact look like a "man" he was wearing a pair of black leggings with a cute flowy top and a pair of Ugg's. He wasn't different he just liked the way it made his Petite body look. 

He mumbled once again "looks like a girl." He wasn't expecting the response " Don't worry no one would think any girl looks that ugly." From Chris. 

He nodded once and just looked down knowing that  was the truth. He hoped at least that at least one of his husbands would say something to reassure him. But once again, nothing was said just silence. 

Finally Austin spoke " Anyways who cares if Jackson wants to be a girl doesn't matter. Let's just go. 

Mitch grabbed his hand and yanked him towards the car.  He was put in the back seat and handed him a light jacket. 

He looked out the window at the suburbs of Maine. It was around a twenty minute before they reached a nice cozy restaurant. 

He got out of the car still holding the jacket before deciding to put it around his waist. 

Mitch and Austin grabbed each other's hands walking in front of each other. With Jackson walking behind them looking around the place. It was a higher up version of Olive Garden , those breadsticks. 

They walked in and  were greeted by a friendly face hostess named Wade. 

" Hi table for Willams Austin said smiling.   
" of course please let me escort you fine gentlemen to your table. 

They all walked over to a nice little booth in the corner. Candles over the edge setting the atmosphere. On the right side both men slide in right next to each other. While Jackson sat on the left side, alone 

" Now please enjoy your dinner and look at the menu I'll be back soon.

The men and Jacks looked towards the menu both of them deciding quickly what to drink and what they wanted to eat as this place was a regular to them. 

Jackson spoke up " Um what's good here?" All the options making his head hurt and heart race. 

Austin looks at him " Why don't you read it huh? Use your eyes and make your own dammed decisions."

Jackson blushed and mumbled a "Sorry". 

The waiter was soon back " Now what can I get you two he asked the men on the left side of the booth. 

Austin spoke up first " A beer please and as the meal goes steak with mashed potatoes gravy on top and  green beans. 

Mitch chuckled and replied " Beer also but I would like the shrimp platter with wild rice and melted butter on top. 

Wade turned and looked at the other side of the booth where Jackson sat alone. That's when he turn in towards the adorable boy. He quickly smilies  
" Hi and what can I get you tonight? 

Jackson looks down starting to tap his fingers in the table and awkwardly pointed at anything his finger could touch. 

Wade frowned looking over at the two other people with the small boy waiting for them to help.  As even he could see this was causing him quite a bit of anxiety. 

After a moment of them just  talking to each other. In there own little bubble not even feeling the glances of the waiter. 

" well how about the noddles they can be plain or with some added sauce. Jackson nodded "Ok, yes."   
Sounds good honeys " Now your going to eat the sauce one alright. 

Jackson nodded relived that his meal was taken care of. 

" Thank you, Wades.   
Jackson honestly loved having choices made for him. It helped clear his mind. Made him feel wanted and cared for. 

"Now one last thing " I know your probably old enough for alcohol but maybe not the best choice. How about some lemonade it's amazing and goes great with your noodles."

Jackson smiles bigger " yes please, thank you Wades." 

" you know I think I prefer Wades to Wade now, it just sounds cooler.

With those words Wade walked away. Jackson started nibbling on one of the breadsticks. 

" Didn't get enough lunch did we?" Austin asked " now time to gobble down the breadsticks. Even before eating your dinner. Don't want to get any bigger do we?

Jackson stopped eating his breadstick he didn't want to get fatter really. But he was hungry the only thing he's had eaten was  a handful of skittles. 

God that breadstick was good bough, stick stomach had loved it. He only got two bites out of it. 

The waiter was soon bringing there food to the booth. He laid out all there food in front of them. Before turning to look fully at Jackson. 

" Ahh are you gender fluid? The waiter asked looking towards him."

Jackson just shook his head. " I'm not." 

The waiter looked more " would you mind explaining just so I know how to address you?"

At those words the two men who had been ignoring the conversation, started to tune in. 

He just nodded " I.  Like pretty clothes clothes made for boys just don't like my body. I don't feel ok. I like pretty. But I know I'm a boy. For sure. 

The waiter nodded gotcha "sir." I just wanted to make sure I didn't cross any boundaries. "By the why you look very pretty in those leggings." 

He smiled as the waiter left. After the fact his husbands looked back towards him. 

"You want to be referred to as she? Austin asked. 

" what no, like I said to the waiter I'm a boy." Jackson stumbled out. 

" You sure? Because your cock is pretty small. Wouldn't be hard to start calling you a girl. Plus with your clothing choice. It's just adding up. Austin commented 

"That's all Jackson really remembers from that date.  His husband thought his cock was to small to be considered a boy to them. 

He tuned out the rest, barley ate any of his noodles even though it tasted delicious. 

On the way back to the car Jackson slipped on the jacket as it was getting a little chilly. He thought maybe he should just start wearing traditional boys clothes then maybe Austin and Mitch wouldn't call him a girl. 

The ride home was filled with peaceful silence and the voice of John Legend "All Of Me" filling the car.  

He ended up falling asleep the wheels of the car lulling him to sleep. He woke up when Mitch had his hands around him almost to pick him up before he thought more. He ended up being poked awake instead. 

He claimed the stairs slowly, almost dead asleep on his feet. He wakes into his bedroom. While watching his two husbands he felt love towards head together to there bedroom.  

That night while his brain gave him the same thoughts of loneliness and helplessness he powered through and managed a full nights sleep. Not without his last thought being that he could get through this. Right?


	2. Continue on

Jackson was sitting on his bed thinking about how his life got to this point. From having to incredibly hot husbands. To living with his best friend and his boyfriends. All the while continuously being alone. 

He was from a small family in Seattle. Him being the only child, his father loved him so much, they were the best of friends. But like all good things in his life it quickly got to its end. He was just shy of 6 when his father up and left the family. No note just left in the middle of the night with his bags packed. 

That broke his mother’s brain it seemed. The first birthday he remembered his 7 all he got was a used heiron needle from his mother with instructions on how to insert it. 

The night he ran away was actually his 19 birthday. His mother had invited some “customers” over for a meeting involving her bedroom being used. 

He’s known for a while that his mother was in fact a hooker. But he choose to ignore that fact. Until he could live on his own. At the time liam was his neighbor he would sneak over when ever his house got to intense. Thomas towered over him even as teens. But in fairness most people were taller then him. 

He was only 5”6 he knew that wasn’t considered short. But it seemed everywhere he went every guy and even girls were at least a foot taller then him. He always thought in the back of his brain, growing up that Thomas would see him for him and they’d fall in love. 

That didn’t happen obviously, it was the hooking up between Thomas and a random girl that shattered the dream. He was heading over the small granite steps leading to Thomas house when he stopped short. There stood Thomas. He was lean but had the muscles to be the quarter back on there varsity football team. He had shoulder length brown hair with brown eyes to match. He was leaning over a short girl roughly kissing her against the side of the house. The part that scarred him was his dick was already out in the open. He had unzipped his pants tugged his dick a few times getting it all up before pulling this girls skirt up all the way to the bottom of her breasts. He ripped her panties in one swift movement before guiding his dick. 

Yeah that’s all Jackson stood around to see. Before he shut his eyes and ran. 

He avoided Thomas like the plague for the next two weeks. Before emotions finally caught up to him. He kept seeing girls hanging off Thomas where ever he went. The men in the house came almost every 4 hour it seemed. His mother even came out of her bedroom to tell him to scram no costumers wanted to see a kid they couldn’t fuck. 

That lead to him sitting on the patio set at all time intervals. He tried drowning out the moans with music and reading but he always got distracted. All these events lead to him running away that fateful October morning. It was 4am he sat outside waiting for the last costumer to be serviced. When his brain asked him “why? Do this day after day?” Nothings going to change at all.” No one will know your even gone.” Do it you’ve seen where your mom puts those pills. Go to the kitchen open the bottle and do it 

Those thoughts scared him, yet they brought a brief motion of happiness to his body. He had no idea what to do in the moment. Give in? Or let life continue like this? He choose neither, he grabbed his phone and ran literally. He picked up nothing no possessions and got out of Seattle. 

Yes this wasn’t the only moment of his life when ending it seemed like the option. It was just the first. He did later “try” but those thoughts brought to much pain to his body. 

He was interpolated from his thoughts when a knock came from his door. He didn’t get a chance to answer. When Liam walked through the door. Jackson looked up curiously wondering why he would be here. Knowing that Liam didn’t like him at all. 

Liam walked over to his closet, and started rummaging through his clothes. Jackson sat on his bed stunned for second. “ um what are you doing.” Jackson asked looking at Liam. Hearing no response and having no idea what to do, he just continued to sit. 

Finally Liam turned towards him with a smirk that looked evil. He put the clothes he picked out in a pile on the bed before commanding  
“Get dressed.”

Jackson was about to open his mouth and ask why when Liam give him a hard glare that clearly meant shut up. 

Still quite confused he did as he was told. He headed to his bathroom. He hated looking in mirror so he avoided it at all cost. Finally he looked at what clothes he was handed. It confused him. It was a pair of leggings once again but a size to small then he normally would wear. Along with a tank top that was tear blue with the shoulders cut. But that’s not what confused him. It was the note he found that said pick A or B get dressed and meet me outside to give your answer. 

He was trying to even decide what that could possibly mean. When he discovered he didn’t get underwear. He walked towards the door his hand on the handle before he heard. “Don’t come out until your dressed in what I gave you and no I gave you all you needed.” Coming from Liam. 

Jackson decided not to test Liam. He got dressed, before looking down and realizing you could see the outline of his dick from the tightness of his leggings. He blushed a brilliant shade of red before heading out to met Liam. 

He exited the bathroom to meet Liam’s gaze. He glanced over Jackson’s appearance once before nodding. “Give me your answer now.” 

Jackson brain supplies him with “B.” Liam smiles and grabs two paper bags he hadn’t noticed before. Grabbing one and handing it over to him. “We will be heading back into that bathroom to make sure you put what’s in there on.” Liam said. 

He didn’t give time for Jackson’s response, before grabbing his wrist and bringing back to the bathroom. He opened up the bag and three items came out. A pacifier. A bra. And panties. 

“Now your allowed to veto one choice but let me reassure you. You will be using the other two.” Liam commented slowly. 

Jackson wasn’t sure what to do. He knew not to mess around with Liam he knew very little about him, but what he’s heard frightened him immensely. He didn’t want to wear any of them but he knew for sure not the bra. He couldn’t. 

He spoke up quietly “the bra. No.”

Liam nodded “alright.” Now he pointed towards the two items left on the counter “get them.” 

Jackson hurried to them and picked them up.   
“Drop your pants, put on your undergarments.” 

Hearing the command, Jackson knew that he had no choice in this. He picked up the grey and sparkly pair of panties and slowly pushed down his leggings. Shimmying them on over his dick. 

Liam finally spoke up “ normally you’d have to tuck but well you won’t have to worry about that.” 

Jackson blushed adjusted them correctly and pulled his leggings up. 

He looked down at the pacifier not sure how he would wear this?

“Put it in your mouth and suck.” Came the instructions supplied by Liam. 

Jackson glad to have the help, he wasn’t sure what to do with the pacifier. Never having one as a child. He hesitated before putting in his mouth and sucked once before stopping. 

Liam rolled his eyes and came over to Jackson. He pulled the pacifier from Jackson’s mouth. He pocketed it for the time being. 

“Well that was bad, you couldn’t even suck on it twice but I’ll show you how.” 

He picked back up the pacifier, for a minute he thought Liam was going to put it in his mouth. Before he guided it back towards Jackson’s mouth. He used his thumb and index finger to gently push it in. 

“Now the thing in your mouth right now, that feels rubbery is the “nipple” to say his where you suck. Now try, move your tongue and mouth.”

Jackson tried what Liam said and sucked. This time using it mouth, it actually started to work. He even got the rhythm right. 

Jackson was so into it, he didn’t notice Liam’s fingers coming towards his face before the pacifier was taken away from his mouth. 

He waited for Liam to say something. Why he did what he just did. But no words came. Though he did watch Liam put the pacifier back into the other brown bag left in his room. 

“We’re leaving, everyone’s waiting in the foyer I’ll meet you down.”  
But do remember this changes nothing. I did this for no reason you need to know.” Don’t ask about this.” With those words echoed from Liam he walked out the door. 

Jackson left his bedroom in a daze not fully having grasped what just happened in his bedroom. 

He walked down the stairs, meeting up with everyone else in the living room. He walked over to Mitch and Austin asking “where are we going?” 

He fully expected a rude comment coming from one of there mouths. They did not disappoint. 

Ignoring the question Austin spoke “why do you insist on dressing like a girl? I thought you said you were a boy. “ I think I would have remembered marrying a girl.”

“ I am a boy! Jackson finally shouted sick and tired of being told what he himself was! 

“ I just like dressing this way it makes me feel pretty!” Boys clothes don’t make me feel this way but if it makes you mad. “ I’ll stop to make you happy ok.”   
Jackson finished quietly hoping they wouldn’t take him up on the offer. 

He loves them so much, maybe they will see how much it means to him. Of course they did no such thing as the next words out of Austin’s mouth were “ change when we get home, Don’t where those things around us again.”

Jackson wanted to scream in frustration take back what he had said in the heat of the moment. Instead he nodded biting back harsh words. 

After a few moments of awkwardness Liam came bounding down the stairs.   
“ ok, let’s go burning daylight.” 

They all went to there respected cars. Jackson got in the backseat of the Jeep once again. Reminding him of that fateful dinner weeks ago. 

The car ride to wherever let his mind wander to what happened in the bathroom. He wouldn’t ask even if he was dying to know but his brain wasn’t keeping that promise. 

Liam almost seemed gentle with him especially the moment with the pacifier. Maybe he was trying to turn over a new leaf. This with the leggings and panties, was a way of saying he accepted this part of him. That had Jackson smiling. 

He also thought how it was a command and he had no choice of saying no. Liam did it to embarrass him one more time. Knowing it would upset the boys and now he had no way of dressing like he wanted again. 

Thanks Liam. 

Even with that making sense, he wouldn’t figure out why the pacifier? What purpose did that make. He’d didn’t want one. Didn’t know how to even use one. 

Oh god what if he was setting him up. He took photos and was going to use them against him in someway. 

He knew these thoughts were going to wind him to a panic attack. He could feel his breath quicken his heart beating so loudly he could hear only it. 

Jackson started to do the breathing techniques he learned. He focused on five things he was able to see. Five things he could hear, five things he could touch. 

He had finally breathe again, when they arrived at there destination the local ice cream shop. He unbuckled trying to stop his brain from overthinking. Jackson got out hoping that he was just being paranoid and no one could see his junk. He all but ran to the store, getting in as quickly as he could. That meant he didn’t notice all the glances he got even in that short time frame especially from guys looking towards that cute little butt. 

The others took there time coming into the small shop. He didn’t miss the sneers his husbands face to him though. They looked embarrassed, when looking at Jackson. They all formed a line one of which Jackson found himself the last in. One by one they all ordered there desserts. Then it was Jackson’s turn. 

Jackson took his turn to actually look at the menu realizing he didn’t know what half the flavors tasted like. The only time someone offered him ice cream as a child was from one of moms clients, it was over his thing so Jackson didn’t want to take the chance. 

Jackson didn’t want a repeat of the dinner, so he quickly picked the option that looked the easiest. 

“ Chocolate, please one scoop.”   
Jackson stumbled through. 

The girl behind the glass giggled softly. “ your just the sweetest thing, of course you can sweetie.” 

As she was getting his ice cream ready, she flirted with him the whole time. Making his cheeks as well as his ears flame up. Finally she scooped up and put it into the cone. “ have a great day, text me   
612-295-8057 she said smiling.”

He thanked her, before looking around finding his friends. All eating there ice cream none of them waited for him. Just left him. 

Jackson walked over to the table taking a seat next to Thomas and started licking the ice cream. It was delicious he thought. 

Even though he was surrounded by people who he loved. He felt alone. 

Will this feeling change?


	3. Confusion

The odd part of that day with Liam was it kept happening day after day it seemed. He was always alone, in his room the activities ranging from reading, drawing marvel characters of course. When all of sudden it seemed always at 3:03 on the dot Liam walked in. 

He would watch, well more like peer into his soul while waiting for him to notice the gaze. He would walk to his bed, never sitting on it but sit crossed legged on the floor next to him. He always brought that damned brown bag, that he knew held the bra and probably other toys judging by the size. 

He would always pull out the pacifier but not before, looking into his eyes searching deeply for something. Before taking his hand and handing over the pacifier. He never said anything when Jackson refused to put that thing into his mouth again. The first time feeling all to weird. 

The first few times it was an off experience, he wasn't used to Liam not insulting him and his choices. He was waiting for that to happen. The first strike he knew was inventible. He was tense the whole time, Waiting for something to happen. When nothing came from the first meeting or the next he slowly slowed himself to relax with Liams gaze watching him. 

They would talk about nothing meaningful, just basic chit chat. But enough that it didn't feel awkward it become some what of a routine. Until the relationship dynamic changed for a moment. 

Jackson was used to being alone in the house. He did his own thing, was out of people ways. Even his husbands actually he found that his presence seemed to iterate them. Put them on edge. 

He used to head to the kitchen every morning to join them for breakfast. He bounded down the stairs, would sit in his favorite chair he was never hungry in the morning. He would sit down swinging his feet while drinking his hot chocolate with whipped cream. Yummy. It always put a smile on his face after restless sleep. 

He hadn't noticed it, until he did but when he came down there conversation would cease to exist. They talked about nothing when Jackson joined them. He wouldn't of noticed if Austin hadn't chosen that morning to blow his top. 

He was sipping his hot chocolate, not exactly spaced out but not listening either. Until he heard his name being called, well not exactly a term of endearment but a slur of pussy. He blinked looking up quite confused, "yes?" He asked.

That was all that needed to be said before Mitch blew and started yelling   
"Why the fuck, have you been hanging around Liam like a slut. Is two husbands not enough for a sick slut like you? Just can't wait to get on your knees crawl like the whore you are just hanging off anything that gives you any contact. You disgust me." Mitch finally finished looking directly into his eyes. 

Jackson needed to reply, his body hurt keeping the words in. It shook, his lungs trying to get a breath out. His eyes started to water. Trying not the tears out, but it was will power was not enough. Before he knew it his whole body was racking with sobs coming forth. He tried to let the men have it but his mouth would only let out sobs. 

He scooted from the chair with a screeching sound of the chairs scratching the wood floors. He tried to muffle the noise by stuffing his fist into his mouth. Trying to run from the room. Not before Austin got the last word. " yes run away like the coward you are, a big pussy crying like you are. Boys don't cry but I guess we can't call you that huh. Now leave you always bother us during meal time any way." 

Jackson stuffed his fist harder in his mouth drawing blood, before bolting from the kitchen running up the stairs slamming his door shut. He crawled underneath his bed, curling up into a little ball trying desperately to stop the sobs that were racking his body. 

He couldn't get the words out of his brain. They get ping ponging around, he was proving there point already sobbing like. Like the puss he was. God he really was pathetic. 

He stayed curled up in a tight ball all of the morning. He wouldn't of known time had passed , if he didn't hear the opening of his door and the steps towards the bed. 

He knew it had to be 3:01, Liam was the only person to come visit him. He didn't want to see him, after what the men had accused him of. He wasn't sleeping with him! He wasn't even sure what these meetings were! He just always cams true to his schedule. He didn't ask him to!

Liam crouched down beside the bed, in the spot he normally sat. He waited a little while, hearing the boys sniffle. After a bit Liam finally spoke barley above a whisper " I would like to talk about what was said to you in the kitchen." We both know were not with each other for that reason at all I promise. Now I need you to get out from under the bed. Please."

Jackson wanted to listen but his brain and body were working against each other. He still felt the need to cry and shove his fist further in, so Liam wouldn't be able to hear his cries. He was starting to develop a headache, which added to the stress he was already feeling. He was ashamed to admit he gave quite a shriek, when large smooth hands grabbed his upper arms and stated to gently pull him forward until he was out from his cover. 

Liam settled him on top of his bed, he once again looked at him directly in the eye. He reached into his pocket grabbing the pacifier this time he didn't offer it to him, instead he pulled Jackson's chin up to meet his eye before pushing the pacifier in his mouth. 

Jackson was to tired to fight against Liam, his eyes already trying to flutter shut. Liam gently shakes him awake. "It's barley 4 Jacks not even close to bed time." Liam spoke aloud. 

Jackson wasn't going to listen honestly, it has already been a long draining day. He already felt his eyes slipping back shut.  Liam shook his head before he spoke again "Nope, we're coloring now, cmon."

He gently grabs  Jackson's wrist once again. He pulls him into his lap gently rubbing his arm, attempting to calm him down. 

"Now we're going to relax a little bit, you can draw Thor as ripped as you'd like. Once your calmer we're going to have a little chat." Liam gently spoke to him. 

Jackson felt safe, in his arms not having reduced comfort for so long. He forgot what it felt like to be held. In a warm body that wanted him. He started to cry once more. Soft painful tears. 

Liam didn't comment, just wiped the tears away. " I don't hate you. I promise. You just bring something out in me I haven't felt in awhile." 

That confused Jackson, he was about to ask the dozens of questions floating around in his brain. Before he could Liam  gently put a finger to his mouth. Shushing him just for a bit. He hands Jacks a note pad and colored pencils. 

Jackson began to draw out the avengers, when he saw them he saw himself a misfit being alone. Almost like Tony just without the handsome, rich part. 

Jackson started to get comfortable in his new position, before long he was fully leaning against Liam's body fully putting his trust in his hands. It felt nice being held. It's been so long. 

He didn't notice he started to draw himself and his surroundings, until he looked down. There in his sketch book was a pencil sketch of him inside of Liam's arms. For some reason Liam was much bigger then the boy in the drawing almost dwarfing him. 

He stared at it until he felt Liam clear his throat, clearly getting ready to talk. He didn't get the chance though, before he started talking Jackson tore the page out and ripped it to pieces. 

Liam raised one eyebrow to the small prices of paper littering the floor around him, before speaking " I was going to say that was a lovely picture your a little artist. It's adorable.  But I know your still frazzled about today and that's ok. But I'm not going anywhere, right now it's just our time together. Your probably frightened about what your husbands will do if they find out I'm here with you, but I will sort that out for you."  By the end of the mini speech Liam looked down and say Jacks eyes filled with tears again. 

Liam sighed "oh honey." He gently started to rock Jacks against his body. Wrapping his own arms around Jacks stomach. 

" let's hope, those are the last tears of today." Liam spoke gently chuckling. 

Jackson nods  against Liam's chest. His response of a simple ok came out muffled because of the pacifier. Making it seem more like otays. That seemed to surprise him more then anything. Seemingly he forgot all about the pacifier he had been sucking on and self soothing for a little more then three hours. 

He was about to take the pacifier out of his mouth, when Liam's hands stopped him. Instead Liam took over and plucked it out of his mouth. 

Jackson was surprised that his mouth seemed lost without the pacifier in his mouth. The soothing rhythm of the sucking. His mouth almost doing it unconsciously knowing it was missing something. He didn't realize he started to bring his thumb to his mouth, until Liam's hands grabbed it with his. Cupping there hands together. 

"Sorry, but no thumbs. It's not heathy and unsanitary." 

Jackson spoke up for the first time sense there talking bad began. "Why take away then?"  
Liam smiled down at him "you'll soon learn I promise, but in the mean time you'll get the pacifier when you need it. 

Jackson just nodded once again. Seeming to be placated by his words. 

Liam began to stand, taking Jackson's hand in his and leading him to his bed. He uncovers the bedding. Before pushing Jackson down into it. Once he was in nice and comfy he tucked the covers back in. 

He combed his hair, before instructing Jacks to close his eyes and try to sleep. Before he slipped in the pacifier once again. Knowing in his heart that it would be the only way to get the young man to stay asleep tonight. 

He knew they would have to talk about all this soon enough. But for right now he was going to let that piece of plastic soothe him into a good nights rest.

He knew he had to talk some sense into Jackson husbands as well. Ugh his life was all fucked up. Why couldn’t his husbands see what he desperately needed. It was clear in his face, his longing. He needed someone to care for him. 

He would gladly take the role upon himself. For now, until he could find someone suited for him. Even if it wasn’t those dumbass husbands of his. 

For some reason Liam had a gut feeling. Something big was about to happen. What, he wasn’t sure but he knew it would be bigger than the fight and sobbing of Jacks. 

He didn’t want anything to happen to that beautiful young man. He was so cute brown hair with cute freckles, he was such a petite young man. He honestly filled out in anything he wore though. But goodness was a skinny. At first he thought nothing of it. The move was probably stressful which led to a few missed meals. 

But after seeing him shirtless in the morning, on the porch he suddenly got worried. That’s how all these meetings with Jacks has gotten started. He bought the bra just to see how comfortable he was with the level of what he considered pretty clothes. 

When he saw him wearing the leggings a size smaller then he usually went, was the biggest concern about his weight. Those shouldn’t had fitted a man of his age. Should have been way to tight to even get past the hips of a healthy weight male. 

So that decided it, he started visiting the young man every few days. Making it his mission to sit to appear less threatening. He was also quite so Jacks was in control of the conversation the way he wanted it go. No force. 

 

After a few weeks he started to want to protect Jacks so much more. He hoped Jacks will soon find the happiness he so obviously craved. He just wanted someone to that would love him and for god sake cared for him! 

He hadn’t realized he was leaning against the wall outside Jacks room. He ran his hand through his hair. Sighing he got up. Just before he was about to head down stairs, he heard the creek of Jacks door opening. 

He looked up and saw Jacks leaning against the wall looking around until he found what he was looking for

Liam. 

He saw him and walked towards where he was, he stood on his tip toes and asked “ come pleases.” 

Liam could never deny that small voice ever, which he would never admit no matter what. 

So instead he grabbed Jacks tiny hand, led him back into his bedroom. Not before picking up the fallen pacifier first of course. He looked into the darkened room and thought a night light was in order, probably avenger themed. 

He turned on the bedside lamp instead. He guided Jacks into his bed, gently pushing him down. Fluffing his pillow making sure he was tucked in properly. 

He kissed his forehead, ruffling his hair before making his exit. He was almost towards the door when he felt a hand gently tugging him. He looked up at Jacks pleading eyes. 

“What’s wrong? Liam asked “is something wrong?

Jackson nodded before shyly telling Liam he needs to stays with him. 

Liam knew he probably shouldn’t, stay it might be crossing the line. But he saw on Jacks face the clear sign of desperation. He gave in and nodded at the boy, before sitting on the floor next to him. 

Jacks looked up at him, opening his mouth before closing it again. Liam saw it and encouraged the boy to speak “ say it, it’s ok.” 

Jacks didn’t do much as speak, but pointed towards his mouth instead. Liam got the hint wiped it off before gently pushing it in his mouth. 

Night night Jacks, are the last words he hears before he submits to sleep. 

Would this last?


	4. Chapter 4

Liam learning from his previous mistake, made sure to stay with Jacks until he knew for sure that he was sleeping soundly. For good measure he stayed an extra hour to make fully sure that he wasn't faking it, or just needing a little protection of another person by him, throughout the night. 

But finally, at last he knew that the time had come to talk to Jacks idiotic husbands he didn't normally drink but he had a feeling this was going to be a stressful conversation. Fun.

Liam got up off the bed, sighed softly before leaning down to place a hand through Jacks soft curls of hair. Finally it was time, lets get this over with he thought. 

He climbed down the stairs into the kitchen, were he knew the boys were having there late night snack as they always did, every night. He rolled his eyes at the thought, yet they said Jacks had the problem with food. He went into the kitchen, standing in between the kitchen island and the dinner table. He watched the boys stop talking when they noticed his presence. 

 

" What can we do for you Liam?", Mitch spoke up first. 

"Well, I came to talk to you guys about the third member of your marriage , as well as the one that gets the short end of the stick always." "Jacks." 

The boys glanced at each other, " Thomas not good enough for you, your desperate enough to fuck Jackson thats just sad." Mitch sneered.

Liam had to force his body to not reach out and punch him directly in the eye out of rage. "This is exactly what I meant. You treat him like shit. You couldn't care less about his wellbeing. You yell at him, when your not ignoring him. Plus you do nothing when one of the boys and, yes I am included, make fun of him. He's part of your marriage treat him like it." Liam spat.

 

" Whatever, we only married him out of pity, did you know he was going to kill himself. He was close to it. We didn't want that on our concounicous so we invited him to join us. Plus he turned out to be such a freak. He dresses like a girl because the clothes are "comfy" thats not normal. Why would we want to spend time with that." Austin spoke up.

" Then tell him that, don't keep wasting each others time, when nothing but pain is going to come from it. You guys can be together without hurting Jacks even more then you guys have been. In the morning, you guys plus me of course will sit down and talk as i watch to make sure nothing of violence comes up." Liam finished.

Without giving the boys a chance to reply he stood up and walked straight out of the kitchen not looking back. He took the chance to go talk to Thomas. He walked up the stairs into there shared bedroom. Where he found Thomas played out on the bed. "Hey, I just spent the night with Jacks and its making me realize a few things. I don't think I'm happy with this anymore. Its just we don't talk anymore. You talk to Jacks sometimes, but you never stand up for him. Were never together. I don't feel like, I know you or even got to anymore. Its almost like we've just seen glimpses of each other, maybe interacted once but thats not enough for me. I have gotten to become almost a caregiver to little Jacks though. Its not like I'm replacing you. But theres something spherical that draws me in." Liam gets out with a breath. 

Thomas knew he had some valued points, but he felt betrayed by his best friend instead.He stole his husband! by what oh yeah "being special." Whatever the fuck that means. Caregiver? what was that.? But why did he say that about Jackson but not said Boyfriend, even friend instead. Weird, he said caregiver which, would be like a parent to there baby, or a person helping an elderly person. That doesn't make sense given Jackson wasn't old, nor Liams child. 

He finally decided to speak out his confusion. "why did you say caregiver? that makes absolute no sense."

Liam stiffened slightly, before smiling and beginning his explanation. "It means what the word implies it to mean. I like taking care of Jacks, it brings me joy it makes me happy. Caring for him. I in no sexual way what so ever what him to be my little boy. He had a shitty childhood, he didn't even know what a pacifier was. Its sad. But I can give him a better one. Plus its a good stress reliever I know it helps him calm down, after his fights with his husbands. Im going slow and easing him into it. But if he wants to keep those fools he's in love with for some reason, I won't stop him. But I also won't stop coming to see room everyday at 3 sharp. Its a promise that I tend to keep." Liam finished winded. Damn he thought that was a long speech.

"Im sorry, I don't want to end us, but I also am going to pursue this with Jacks. But if your still confused on what we talked about google is your best friend." He stood up, hugged Thomas tightly for a fee seconds before walking quietly out of there bedroom door."

He was a few hours early to see Jacks but he thought that didn't matter, they did have some conversation to get through as well. He walked into his bedroom seeing Jacks on his bed with a few stray tears running down his face. While his face seemed he was in deep shallow, his eyes told a different story. 

He walked over to his bed, stroked his cheek before joining him on the floor beside his bed. " Do you want to talk to me about what happened that made you cry?" 

It took Jacks more then a few minutes for his answer to come, " Austin and Mitch came and talked to me a few minutes ago. They said while they considered me to be a friend, the only reason they asked me to marry them, was they felt sorry for me. They didn't want me to kill myself. They thought they could make themselves include me in there love. But its obvious that that didn't work out very well. They just love each other to much for me to be i the middle. They wanted it to work. But I guess we didn't work hard enough to make it happen. Were not made for each other. I guess Im just not made for anyone. Anyway, we talked and they said, I should look for someone who was ok with me being "different." While Im welcome to stay here if I wish to."

Liam, sat on the floor and just listened to what he had to say. "Im sorry that this had to happen to you, so that your finally happy. But I know that you did fall in love with them. That every fight hurt you, every time they call you weird. Everytime that they ignored you and didn't think of your feelings. But it also means you can finally be apart of a relationship that valses you and is starting to delvop feelings for you. If your not ready thars ok to. Ill wait."

Jacks, looked up at liam, " what do you mean you?"

"You might have noticed, but I like you and want to keep our friendship going. But also I want you to get more comfortable into being my little boy. Now you don't need to right away or even ever. But I want to be your daddy." Liam spoke softly

" Will anything change?" Jacks spoke up hesitaintly. 

"Not if you don't want it to, it has no pace its just us doing what we want and how we want to do it. Your still going to be my Jacks." Liam smiled after his words. I told Thomas about our relationship if it does progress to that. But he still confused on what it means so we should be good on that end. But would you like it to be a secret or not? Ether is fine." Liam said 

" Um, secret please. makes it feel better just us knowing. Like its just for us. Maybe later if it feels right. We can tell the others." Jacks spoke up. "Also what do I um call you?

 

Liam laughs, "It doesn't matter to me sweetheart. Whatever makes you feel the most secure for you to say without feeling weird about it. Ill love any name as it came from you."

Jacks was quite again, until he spoke up. "I know the big word is the d word, but I want us to go slow at first. So for now can I call you li (like lee)."

"Of course you can, it will Jacks and li then, thats perfect. Now I don't expect you to be able to fall into your little boy headspace this early on and maybe not that easily. But I know techniques that will be able to help calm you and adjust easier. I feel just even early on that you'll be one of the littler headspace. But again thats a bridge we'll cross when we get to it." Liam replied.

" Can we stay at the house? I know its not mine, nor yours technically but In this room. Because of you, this feels where I can be the most comfortable here with you. But I guess, if anyone wants me to leave there nothing I can do to stop it I get it.' Jacks mumbled the end.

" We are not leaving, this is your house, as much as its anyones. You will not be forced out of this house,If they try they will have to get through me first and I never go down without a fight. Escpically for you. Never." Liam spoke fiercely.

"Now, thats enough grown up talk for the day, I want you to try something on for me ok? Its a new outfit its adorable." As Liam spoke, he brought of a small paper bag again, this time he took the contents out for Jacks. It was a black skirt, with a long white sweater and knee high socks. I know you enjoy pretty clothes now go change." 

Jacks blushed "But it makes me a freak, makes me different then everyone else. I'll stop wearing them and stick to regular clothes. I don't want more people to think Im not normal."

"Fuck,normal honestly I don't care what soxeity thinks, we do what we want and were not hurting anyone. If you want to be little do it. If you want to wear pretty clothes then do it along side me. I think you look super cute, when you feel pretty you smile so brightly. Now cmon go and change. Also Im sorry for swearing, swearing is bad and we don't do it. Ok Liam said. 

Jacks smiled shly, mumbling " No swearing. Before heading into the bathroom grabbing the bag along the way."

Liam smiled, before looking around the floor, looking for the boys pacifier, he checked the floor, looking under the bed. Not finding it there, he looked under the covers of the boys bed. Not finding it there either. He was a little confused on where he put it. He knew the boy had it last night when he was asleep. He had more obvisouly but he was confused on where it could have been put. 

He was interrupted when the bathroom door opened, and Jacks came out looking so incredibly nervous. His creamy white skin seemed to shimmer under the contrast of the black on white. Almost like an orea. He wanted to comment, but he could tell that was going to make him feel uncomfortable. He moved onto a safer conversation something he was puzzled about. 

" Jacks, where is your pacifier? I looked under your bed, and the floor around the bed. Did you lose it this morning? Or just put it somewhere this morning when you woke up?"Liam fired away his questions.

Jacks smiled up seemed grateful for the change of the conversation, He walked over to the bed where Liam now sat. He stuck his hands in the pocket which the skirt appertanly had. lucky. He slowly pulled out from that said pocket was the pacifier. He pulled it fully out looking a bit sheepish. " I wanted to keep it close to me, It reminds me of you and helps to calm me. He said, biting on his lip by the end of the sentence.

Liam smiled, "Thats just adorable now isn't it, but your hurting yourself by biting your lip. I don't want you to start bleeding so here. He started to gently nudge the pacifier past his lips and teeth. Till it finally closed around his mouth with a small pop sound and the sound of gentle sucking soon started. 

"I know, you have more questions to ask, and frankly so do I , but today has been long and stressful and I'm bored of talking so just know this. Jacks I really do like you. In any clothes, in any headspace. because in the end it just boiled down to what you are fully. My Jacks and only mine. Which means I am the only one that will call you it, Its just for us." Liam spoke up passionately.

Jackson, didn't know what to say, even if he could ever put his feelings out in words. So he simply stuck to himself while pushing himself into Li lap with a mumbled "Fanks."

Liam simply started to sway back and forth, giving the motion of a swing to the small boy resting in his arms. He began telling a story about princes, and dragons and of course a daddy who played the beast so he couldn't hurt the boy anymore. By the end of the story, Jacks eyes were gleeful full of almost something resembling hope. But Liam also knew the boy was bound to lose that pacifier again. He set Jacks up with a coloring book. Before moving to where the bag he always brought layed out.

He started rummaging through it, of course the thing he was looking for was at the bottom of the bag, before long he pulled out two items. Before making his way to whereJacks sat leaning against the closet doors,coloring with the book resting on his knees. 

He grabbed Jacks attention when he sat in front of him and lowered the book for just a quick little second. He also grabbed the pacifier from the boys mouth, slowly easing it out. But not before hearing a small whine come out from his mouth.

He did the work as quickly as he could, he tied the pacifier clip to the pacifier then onto the boys white sweater. Before the boys small hands could grab it though. Liam showed him the other item in his hands. 

It was another pacifier, but this one was different, It has an elephants head/ blanket attached to the end making the boy have something he could always fidget with if he felt the need.

Before he could even hand it over, the boys small hands darted to grab the new pacifier before stuffing it inside of his mouth. Smiling at the experimental sucks he gave it, clearly happy with it. 

Liam chuckled, " Now you'll have two plus a dandy little clip to make sure that it never gets lost on you. "

Thats how the two boys spent there night, together.

Across the hall, Thomas had the goggle search bar open, and the cursor taping waiting for a word to be typed before he finally typed the word caregiver in.

 

 

 

 

A/N 

Hi, so this is the third book I've started to right. I'm bad at grammar I try to catch mistakes, but never seem to be able to sorry. If you've been enjoying the book so far make sure to like it, share it and of course comment. I love reading comments! I still get an excited shiver when an inbox comes in saying a comment was left. Anyways sorry about the rambling but I would really appreciate the feedback as well. It could really help me. I ry to keep this book updates to every Wednesday or Thursday if I'm ever late with getting a start on my writing that happens. But I will say I'm not the best at following a schedule. My brain forgets and then the week passe and I reamber nothing. But I am aiming to remember every week.


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